Pain beyond Words
by charisma26
Summary: willow watched as Buffy died, her essence leaving her body. but what actually happened after the scene cut off in the season 5 finale. please R&R! :)


Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer does not belong to me!

Willow POV.

Sobs tore their way through my throat as my best friend lay battered and broken, strewn across an endless pile of rubbish. Her body lay still and her skin began to turn pale. Her chest wasn't moving and her eyelids remained closed no matter how much I prayed they would open.

Tara's arms were supporting me, preventing me from falling to my knees. Warm saltwater cascaded down by cheeks as my breathing turned irregular. The image of my best friend dead burned into my brain.

The tears kept flowing down my face as I held onto Tara, my heart aching at the sacrifice she made, the sacrifice she made to save us. Why was it always Buffy that had to give up everything? Why was she always picked on to bare the weight of the world on her shoulders? I didn't know.

An agonised scream was let loose from my throat as I looked again at the body of my friend. Her golden hair lay loosely around her, her head turned away from us - but I could still see her usual cherry lips turning pale and her rosy cheeks now white.

I didn't know what to do anymore; it was like everything I had ever known was pulled out from under my feet. Buffy, the one that opened my eyes up to the real world was gone and there was no coming back for her. She had sacrificed herself for a world that didn't deserve her.

Giles stumbled forward, his face looking much older than what it was. He collapsed beside Buffy, his eyes portraying so much grief and anguish for his dead daughter I flinched. He cried as he held her unmoving hand, stroking her hair and looking so broken at that moment I feared whether or not he had died this day too.

Spike cried, the first time Willow had seen him let out so many heart breaking emotions. He tried to stand up but his legs gave out from under him. Willow could almost feel his heart break from here. Willow realised with a painful jolt that he had truly loved Buffy – in some, sick, twisted way he did. He had fallen for the best source of goodness in this world and he had to watch helplessly as she jumped – unable to save his only real love.

Willow reached out and grabbed Xander's arm, she needed to feel him, reassure herself that she hadn't lost him too. He had placed Anya on the ground and was looking at Buffy like she wasn't real, almost as if his eyes had somehow deceived him. That just sent another pang of guilt through her already shattered heart.

He reacted to her touch almost instantly, his eyes lingering on her face. Willow then watched as Xander finally cried, the saltwater spilling from his eyes like a stream of water. His face was scrunched up in grief as he raised a shaky hand and reached out to Willow and took her in his arms. His body shook with uncontrollable sobs.

Willow just relaxed in his arms, his touch so familiar yet foreign by the way he clung to her like a lifeline – absorbing whatever comfort he could get.

"Give my love to my friends" a hushed, croaked whisper echoed behind Willow. She turned and stared at Dawn who stood a little way a way, holding her stomach as the red liquid flowed from between her fingers.

"You have to take care of them now, you have to take care of each other, you have to be strong" she continued as she limped forward, her eyes red rimmed from crying.

Poor Dawnie, Willow thought. She was only a child who had already lost too much in such a short space of time. And now she watched as her sister – the one person in the whole world that would do anything for her – had died, the grief and sadness she must be feeling would be horrendous.

Dawn continued to walk forward, sharing one quick sorrow filled glance before she sat beside Giles and took his hands.

"Tell Giles I figured it out and I'm okay" she stuttered out before she broke down completely and sobbed into Buffy's chest, clinging to her sister's dead body.

Dawn had just relayed to us Buffy's dying words to us and that made me cling to Xander even more

Buffy was gone…

And she was never gonna come back!

So reviews are appreciated, also if you are curious as to what Willow told Angel about Buffy's death (because unfortunately the silly writers never put that in) visit my other story called grief is hard!


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